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Thursday, 21 August 2014

SO CLOSE BUT FARAWAY


He was close to me, I could feel his warmth and tenderness, I could feel his genuine love as he stroke my hair whispering closely into my ears ‘I love you so much, I will never leave you nor forsake you, you are the apple of my eyes, no evil can come upon you because I will always be close by to watch over you my love’. As he said all that to me I felt so relaxed in his arms. Suddenly, I felt his breath pumping so hard. I loosened myself from his grip and asked him why he was breathing so hard and he replied ‘do you love me as I love you’ I replied him ‘yes I do and you know it’. He smiled and said to me ‘if you do then please never leave me for all these perishable things, give me your full attention and love and never listen to strange voices’. I was scared when I heard his words at first but on the other hand I didn’t bother since I was in love with him.

He was so ugly and dirty with all impurities; he sat watching me as I unfolded the letters my love had written to me. As I read them I imagined my love close by reading through his letters, I smiled to myself as I read each lines of the letter with ecstasy, they were filled with true love words, and tears of joy filled my eyes. As I kept on going through the letters over and over again I heard a voice saying to me ‘do you think he really loves you’ I stopped to look at the owner of the voice and saw he was the ugly looking fellow watching me all of the time, I ignored his words and kept going through my letters. The voice continued ‘if you think he loves you why are you still having these challenges, why are you being mocked and insulted, why can’t he fight for you’. I placed my hands on my jaw he was truly right why should I still be facing all these challenges maybe I should just let go of him and his love. ‘What do you think I should do’ I asked the ugly looking man ‘he says he loves me with all his heart’ I continued. ‘Ha ha ha what love? You better forget him and move on without him’ he said laughing hilariously leaving me thinking.

I became so busy to even say hi to my lover or to call on him. I became busy to meet him at our usual meeting point as we normally did. Each time he calls me I would ignore him. I left him for those perishable things he foretold me about. Whenever anyone asked me about him I would simply replied ‘we are still in love’ but deep down within me I knew he was close but so far away from me.

I realized how lonely I had been without my love. I realized I had missed him so much. I realized I needed his love badly, I realized I was so empty and wanted him back into my life I realized I had listened to the wrong voice. If only I knew I wouldn’t have listened to that voice. He was close yet so far away from me. What do I do to get close to him again? How I missed his tender voice, how I missed his letters oh no I want him now. I placed a call to him ‘please lord I want you back in my life, forgive me for the neglects, I’m so sorry lord have mercy on me, please take me back into your life’ I said in tears. he replied me ‘I have been waiting for you all these while, I never left you I still watched over you from afar even though you ignored me, the love I have for you is so strong and remember I always tell you that I will never leave you nor forsake you’. After his words I felt refreshed in my spirit, I was happy again, I was strengthened. I couldn’t wait to meet him at our usual joint.

Now I know that he loves me beyond imagination and I can’t do without him for a day. I feel happy again. Thank you lord Jesus for accepting me back.

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